Humanities
College Essay Writing Relection
Goal 1 - Reevaluation of Introduction
One of my biggest downfalls as a writer is my inability to find my way through an introductory paragraph and thesis statement. The process that an introductory paragraph takes is very complicated and possibly the most important part of a text. Having the ability to grab the attention of the audience while maintaining the information with a balanced level of information on the topic being introduced would be a huge boost for my literary repertoire. In my personal statement to Fort Lewis College I proceeded to describe this characteristic of myself, “Mountain men are in a sense being exposed to society as a relic of the past during the technology and innovative movements that the world is being drawn through. At heart, I am a mountain man and although I am not exploring the new innovative world around me, I am exploring the natural beauty that helps free us from the havoc that can engulf our lives.” This excerpt from my writing shows that my ability to elaborate on certain ideas can be diluted as I my thesis tend to become diluted in meaningless words. My writing can be inclined to spout meaningless words out to make it sound increasingly professional and more creative, when it really just throws the reader off balance. To improve my future essays, my main target should be creating an in depth outline of the introductory paragraph; including meaningful, concise ideas and information and no possibility for rabblement in my thesis. The proof reading of my documents will help to sway my ideas more towards a concessive thesis rather than a wordy clutter. Both of these tools will help me reword and reorganize my writing to create an original and orderly Introductory paragraph, containing my thesis and creative thinking skills.
Goal 2 - Focus of Body Paragraphs
Topic, Evidence, and Analysis paragraphs have always been a struggle for me to write at a high level. When writing, thoughts tend to flow, providing me with a way of expression and the ability to find a groove with literature. This tends to make my writing feel lengthy and unproportional to the conflict provided in each paragraph. When I let my mind run across the page, it jumbles the topic that I am trying to discuss and either prove or disprove. In another passage from my personal essay to Fort Lewis College I wrote, “Writing has affected the world throughout history; from the writings of Mark Twain to Stephen King, all writers have created and documented intellectual connections with the outside world and cultures that have procured throughout time.” In this statement, I tapper off from talking about how literature has affected me and why I am so passionate about it, leading into the way it has affected the world. The information contained in this passage can show that I understand how literature has affected the world around me, but the main topic of the paragraph was how it has affected me and where I want to take my skills in that area. I can improve this area of my writing by reevaluating what information I want the paragraph to contain. I tend to go in with a vary vague idea of what I want a paragraph to contain. This can be refocused through organization of information and evaluation of each paragraph in my writing pieces.
Goal 3 - Expansion of Evidence
The evidence seen in my writing can seem unconvincing and uneducated with in depth evaluation. My writing shows tendencies of finding evidence that can be seen as powerful but never expanded, showing lack of depth and consideration for what I am providing the audience with. In my personal essay to Fort Lewis College, I showed lack of purposeful evidence in this statement, “Fort Lewis College has a vast amount of English programs that I can choose to take; providing me with diverse options for the development of my writing. Through Fort Lewis College’s English program, I can attempt to accomplish my career goal of earning a master's degree in Creative Writing.” During my writing of this passage, I did not show any evidence of why this particular establishment would help my better my writing skills. What does Fort Lewis College’s literature program have that is meaningful to me and why does it make me want to attend? I did not answer this question with enthusiasm or compelling reasoning. By looking further into my evidence and research, I can from better opinions and more defined reasoning in my statements. Using research notes will give me the capability of showing my true colors and not creating transparent statements baed off meaningless accusations.
College Essay Revision Reflection
During the start of my college essay, I did not know where to take my thoughts on who I wanted to be and why that was. As the project progressed I got input from people around me and it helped develop what I wanted to convey to an admissions officer. My essay is centered around my love for the area and my interest in literature. When writing my essay I was focused on less a creative atmosphere in the essay and more on a professional representation of who I am as a person. Through critique, my peers were able to show me how I can incorporate some interesting ideas and keep the audiences attention through creativity. This showed me that I am capable of creating a writing piece that can grab attention while still maintaining the information needed to make it an effective writing piece. In the piece I started with writing, “Living in the small hippie town of Durango Colorado, I grew up with a comfortable atmosphere to be myself.” After revision my peers showed me that I could grab attention with my hook better and I ended up creating this statement, “The jovial mountain town of Durango, Colorado sat in high warmth during each summer I spent running around outside. The pure Colorado air provides a sense of place for everyone it touches and provided a positive atmosphere for me to grow up in.” Through this statement I showed my growth through a evolution of words that crafted a created aura for my piece, showing my growth as a revisionary writer.
One of my biggest downfalls as a writer is my inability to find my way through an introductory paragraph and thesis statement. The process that an introductory paragraph takes is very complicated and possibly the most important part of a text. Having the ability to grab the attention of the audience while maintaining the information with a balanced level of information on the topic being introduced would be a huge boost for my literary repertoire. In my personal statement to Fort Lewis College I proceeded to describe this characteristic of myself, “Mountain men are in a sense being exposed to society as a relic of the past during the technology and innovative movements that the world is being drawn through. At heart, I am a mountain man and although I am not exploring the new innovative world around me, I am exploring the natural beauty that helps free us from the havoc that can engulf our lives.” This excerpt from my writing shows that my ability to elaborate on certain ideas can be diluted as I my thesis tend to become diluted in meaningless words. My writing can be inclined to spout meaningless words out to make it sound increasingly professional and more creative, when it really just throws the reader off balance. To improve my future essays, my main target should be creating an in depth outline of the introductory paragraph; including meaningful, concise ideas and information and no possibility for rabblement in my thesis. The proof reading of my documents will help to sway my ideas more towards a concessive thesis rather than a wordy clutter. Both of these tools will help me reword and reorganize my writing to create an original and orderly Introductory paragraph, containing my thesis and creative thinking skills.
Goal 2 - Focus of Body Paragraphs
Topic, Evidence, and Analysis paragraphs have always been a struggle for me to write at a high level. When writing, thoughts tend to flow, providing me with a way of expression and the ability to find a groove with literature. This tends to make my writing feel lengthy and unproportional to the conflict provided in each paragraph. When I let my mind run across the page, it jumbles the topic that I am trying to discuss and either prove or disprove. In another passage from my personal essay to Fort Lewis College I wrote, “Writing has affected the world throughout history; from the writings of Mark Twain to Stephen King, all writers have created and documented intellectual connections with the outside world and cultures that have procured throughout time.” In this statement, I tapper off from talking about how literature has affected me and why I am so passionate about it, leading into the way it has affected the world. The information contained in this passage can show that I understand how literature has affected the world around me, but the main topic of the paragraph was how it has affected me and where I want to take my skills in that area. I can improve this area of my writing by reevaluating what information I want the paragraph to contain. I tend to go in with a vary vague idea of what I want a paragraph to contain. This can be refocused through organization of information and evaluation of each paragraph in my writing pieces.
Goal 3 - Expansion of Evidence
The evidence seen in my writing can seem unconvincing and uneducated with in depth evaluation. My writing shows tendencies of finding evidence that can be seen as powerful but never expanded, showing lack of depth and consideration for what I am providing the audience with. In my personal essay to Fort Lewis College, I showed lack of purposeful evidence in this statement, “Fort Lewis College has a vast amount of English programs that I can choose to take; providing me with diverse options for the development of my writing. Through Fort Lewis College’s English program, I can attempt to accomplish my career goal of earning a master's degree in Creative Writing.” During my writing of this passage, I did not show any evidence of why this particular establishment would help my better my writing skills. What does Fort Lewis College’s literature program have that is meaningful to me and why does it make me want to attend? I did not answer this question with enthusiasm or compelling reasoning. By looking further into my evidence and research, I can from better opinions and more defined reasoning in my statements. Using research notes will give me the capability of showing my true colors and not creating transparent statements baed off meaningless accusations.
College Essay Revision Reflection
During the start of my college essay, I did not know where to take my thoughts on who I wanted to be and why that was. As the project progressed I got input from people around me and it helped develop what I wanted to convey to an admissions officer. My essay is centered around my love for the area and my interest in literature. When writing my essay I was focused on less a creative atmosphere in the essay and more on a professional representation of who I am as a person. Through critique, my peers were able to show me how I can incorporate some interesting ideas and keep the audiences attention through creativity. This showed me that I am capable of creating a writing piece that can grab attention while still maintaining the information needed to make it an effective writing piece. In the piece I started with writing, “Living in the small hippie town of Durango Colorado, I grew up with a comfortable atmosphere to be myself.” After revision my peers showed me that I could grab attention with my hook better and I ended up creating this statement, “The jovial mountain town of Durango, Colorado sat in high warmth during each summer I spent running around outside. The pure Colorado air provides a sense of place for everyone it touches and provided a positive atmosphere for me to grow up in.” Through this statement I showed my growth through a evolution of words that crafted a created aura for my piece, showing my growth as a revisionary writer.
Model Senate Project Decription/Reflection
Model Senate was a project created to help students understand how our government functions and how the laws that create stability get passed and implemented. Understanding government fucntions is a huge part of participation in voting in this country. Being able to truly understand who you are electing to accomplish the tasks of the senate, the house of representatives, and the judiciary branch (presidential branch) creates a good atmosphere for understanding what will work for this country and what will not. The U.S. Senate has it's flaws and discovering whether or not it was broken was the main focus of our research. We were given roles of senators dependent on party affiliation. Majority students were Republican and Minority were Democrat, exactly the way the senate is. There were special roles such as President Obama given out to students who requested specialty roles. Each student researched their Senator's view on bills that were written about Immigration, Climate Change, and College Debt. We spent a month researching through notebooks about each of the subjects to help form and find our senator's opinon. Then we used those opinions in committee and senate floor. Each student wrote a bill regarding the committee they were assigned to and the best bills were chosen to reach committee. Each senator then had to prepare a speech regarding the bill that was in their committee. My speech was one of the few that was presented on the Senate floor. After the bills were debated and speeches had been made, each student/senator voted on the bills. If a bill was passed it was then given to president Obama fro signing of Veto. This is what Model Senate consisted of as it was a very rewarding and knowledge vibrant project.
College Debt Bill
Model Senate Speech
Audio Interview/Project Reflection
max_martinez_model_senate_interview.m4a | |
File Size: | 4568 kb |
File Type: | m4a |